It's Not Just What You Carry But How You Carry It

Now let's talk about baggage and relationships. Everyone has baggage that they carry with them from one relationship to the next. Baggage isn't always a negative thing. When you go on a trip, you use it to carry the things you need to complete your journey, enjoy your trip, and have the necessities. Sometimes the things we carry from one relationship, as long as we acknowledge them and learn from them, can keep us from repeating mistakes and we can truly learn what we want and need from the person we are in a relationship with.
(By the way it is very difficult to write this while watching Saw VI. Can you say mega gross! And it's very interesting the political/social statement they make with the first scene.)
Some baggage is permanent, like a divorce. Those things will always be a part of a person's past but it is how they are handled and carried that determines their future. Divorce begins as a full bag. In it you have anger, resentment, sadness, disappointment, grief, regret, and your mind is full of "shoulds, coulds, and woulds." Every time you look at that bag and go through it, you think about all of the things you could have done differently and everything you think you could have changed. Once you take those things out, the bag becomes lighter and lighter and all that is left are those lessons that will help you create a healthy relationship with someone else. Now even though that bag is light, if you carry it on your back, on your shoulder, or in your hand, eventually it will become heavy. The best way is to put the baggage in roller luggage; that way it will always be behind you and easy to tote. But it will always be BEHIND you, not in front of you, and not with you in the present, but behind you. It isn't leading your way, but it is part of your past that will help you navigate through the rest of your life. (And this analogy can be used for any type of baggage.)
Now although some view children as baggage, that is simply perception. As long as you see a child as a blessing, the right person will see them the same way. Someone you are interested in will ultimately see your child the way you do; so don't treat them as a hindrance but as a blessing and perhaps even a tool to finding the right person.
Excluding divorce or children, we all have baggage. It is up to us to not let that baggage become a burden; we have to lighten the load. We only need to carry what is necessary. We can't carry the past with us all of the time; if we did, it would become so heavy it would keep us from enjoying our lives and moving forward.
Letting go is difficult...trust me I know. And there are so many types of baggage. We don't just carry baggage from romantic relationship to romantic relationship, but friendship to friendship, and job to job. We have to learn to keep the past in the past; once we bring it to the present, it can become damaging. Don't make the past a present obstacle to the future. It is wonderful to take something away from experiences and situations, but we should try to take away positive things. Even when bad things happen, we should try to learn from them. It is human to grieve, to be sad and angry, and to be disappointed; but those things should not dictate your life. Positivity will result in positive outcomes and the same goes for negativity.
I am not pretending that this is at all easy. This requires a serious level of consciousness and awareness of everything we do. This requires self-analysis and self-reflection, which we often don't take time to do. We can only do the best we can, but let's try to elevate our best. Let's raise the bar on what we believe we are capable of.
So work on letting go of the baggage; I'm trying to do that. Work on getting past the hurt and pain so your heart will be open to the next great thing. Good things usually happen when you aren't paying attention; if you aren't, you will miss them. And we are usually not paying attention because we are focused on the negative. I'm going to try to focus on the positive and the good; perhaps change my life in the process.